Which of these judgments have you ever made about yourself?

  • I judge myself unworthy and put myself down.
  • I judge myself to be uneducated and stupid.
  • I judge myself to be a closed person.
  • I judge myself to be shy and humble.
  • I judge myself to be hypercritical and picky.
  • I judge myself to be always right.
  • I judge myself to be a rock without feelings.
  • I judge myself to be unpopular and a loner.
  • I judge myself to be wishy-washy and unable to stand up for what I believe.
  • I judge myself to be selfish and self-centered.


  1. From the list above, pick one and write a 10/10 answering the question, “How do I react when I judge myself to be. . .? HDMAMMF
  2. HDIF when I recognize and accept a good quality in myself? DIFALD
  3. HDIF when you point out a good quality you see in me? DIFALD
  4. Describe a time when my behavior helped me recognize a good quality in myself. HDMAMMF
  5. What good quality of mine do I have trouble accepting? HDIF sharing this with you? DIFALD
  6. What attitudes do I have that prevent me from accepting compliments on my personal qualities? HDMAMMF
  7. HDIF when I am able to accept a compliment about a personal quality? DIFALD
  8. What am I generous about? HDMAMMF
  9. What am I selfish about? HDMAMMF
  10. When do I find it easy to be a loving person? HDMAMMF
  11. When do I find it difficult to be a loving person? HDMAMMF
  12. When my decision to love seems heavy, where do I seek encouragement? HDIFAT
  13. HDIF when I have acted lovingly? DIFALD
  14. HDIF when I have acted selfishly? DIFALD
  15. What kinds of people are difficult for me to love? HDMAMMF
  16. What characteristic of Christ’s is hardest for me to emulate? HDMAMMF
  17. HDIFA your experiencing Christ’s love through me? DIFALD
  18. What actions/things/behaviors are life-giving to me? HDMAMMF
  19. HDIFA change? DIFALD
  20. What was the greatest change for me on our Marriage Encounter weekend? HDIFAMA
  21. HDIFA “Bloom where you’re planted”? DIFALD
  22. HDIF when I see a new baby? DIFALD
  23. Am I open to new life? DIFALD
  24. Am I choosing the direction of my life, or is my life directing me? HDMAMMF
  25. Where do I spend most of my energy each day? HDMAMMF
  26. How does my negative or positive self-image affect me being life-giving? HDMAMMF
  27. The time I feel most alive is. . . . DIFALD
  28. What did I most look forward to today? HDMAMMF
  29. What is my biggest challenge right now? HDMAMMF
  30. What brought me the most fulfillment today? HDMAMMF
  31. What is my dream for tomorrow? HDMAMMF
  32. What was the center of my life today? HDMAMMF
  33. What do I most need to take responsibility for today? HDMAMMF
  34. What attitude am I struggling most with today? HDMAMMF
  35. Did I feel special growing up as a child? How do I feel now, looking back at my childhood? DIFALD
  36. HDIF knowing that God has entrusted me with something special of Himself? DIFALD
  37. God trusts me to reveal the unique facet of Him that I possess. HDTMMF
  38. What makes me special? HDTMMF
  39. Do I have a poor self-worth? HDMAMMF
  40. Who are the people who lift me up? HDMAMMF
  41. Where do I go to be lifted up? HDMAMMF
  42. How do I feel when the church lifts me up? DIFALD
  43. Do I have “my chair” or “my spot” in church? HDIF when someone else sits there? HDMAMMF
  44. Do I feel comfortable hugging you and our children? HDMAMMF
  45. Do I believe it is important to be on time? HDMAMMF
  46. Do I think life is fair? HDMAMMF
  47. Do I believe we should have at least one family meal a day? HDMAMMF
  48. Do I like to drop in on people? HDIFAT
  49. Do I like for people to drop in on us? HDIF when it happens?
  50. Do I believe we should share household tasks? HDMAMMF
  51. Do I believe it is important to take a yearly family vacation? HDMAMMF
  52. Do I think it is important to go to church every week? HDMAMMF
  53. Do I enjoy being pampered? HDIF when I am?
  54. What do I find relaxing? HDIFAMA
  55. HDIFA surprises? DIFALD
  56. Is orderliness important to me? HDMAMMF
  57. HDIFA a chaotic environment? DIFALD
  58. Is it more important for me to be liked or to be right? HDMAMMF
  59. HDIF when no one notices something I put a lot of work into? DIFALD
  60. HDIF when I make a mistake? DIFALD
  61. Am I a pessimist or an optimist? HDMAMMF
  62. HDIF when I’m criticized or made fun of in public? DIFALD
  63. HDIF when there is a last minute change of plans? DIFALD
  64. HDIFA security and stability? DIFALD
  65. HDIFA a challenge? DIFALD
  66. HDIF when someone lies to me? DIFALD
  67. Do I want to fit in or stand out? HDMAMMF
  68. HDIF when I have to work alone? DIFALD
  69. HDIFA unresolved issues? DIFALD
  70. HDIFA being accountable to someone else? DIFALD
  71. HDIF when someone asks me to share? DIFALD
  72. How important is physical affection to me? HDMAMMF
  73. HDIFA confrontation? DIFALD
  74. HDIFA sacrifice? DIFALD
  75. HDIFA traditions? DIFALD
  76. HDIF when I’m given a task without guidance or clear expectations? DIFALD
  77. HDIF when people disagree with me? DIFALD
  78. HDIFA learning new things? DIFALD
  79. HDIF when I have a deadline? DIFALD
  80. HDIF when my decisions are questioned?
  81. Do I make lists? HDMAMMF
  82. HDIF when I’m late? DIFALD
  83. Do I tend to see things in black and white, or do I see shades of gray? HDMAMMF
  84. Do I prefer to be alone/with 2 or 3 close friends, in a small group, or at a huge gathering? HDMAMMF
  85. HDIFA parades? DIFALD
  86. Where do I have an attitude of inferiority? HDMAMMF
  87. HDIF when people change the rules? DIFALD
  88. How do I act so that others will accept me? HDMAMMF
  89. What do I do in a group of strangers to be accepted? HDMAMMF
  90. Looking back over my day, what act or achievement makes me feel best about myself? HDMAMMF
  91. What kind of compliment makes me feel good? DIFALD
  92. How do I want others to see me? HDMAMMF
  93. What are my best qualities? HDMAMMF
  94. What do I do to gain acceptance and profit emotionally? HDMAMMF
  95. What roles do I play? HDMAMMF
  96. How do I react to compliments? HDMAMMF
  97. What kind of criticism distresses me? HDMAMMF
  98. What is my greatest compulsion? HDMAMMF
  99. HDIF when I withdraw into my shell? DIFALD
  100. Do I feel in control of my time? HDMAMMF
  101. HDIF in a competition? DIFALD
  102. HDIFA trying new things? DIFALD
  103. HDIFA being praised or recognized in public? DIFALD
  104. HDIFA doing routine tasks? DIFALD
  105. HDIF when I have to depend on others? DIFALD
  106. HDIFA uncertainty? DIFALD
  107. HDIFA finishing things? DIFALD
  108. What did my parents praise me most for? HDIF recalling this?
  109. What were my parents most critical of me about in my childhood? HDIF recalling this?
  110. HDIFA apologizing? DIFALD
  111. Do I believe in work before play? How does that impact our relationship? HDMAMMF
  112. How do I get re-energized? Is it the same way you do? HDMAMMF
  113. Am I holding onto any resentment, bitterness or anger toward you? Choose one area/incident. HDIFA this issue/area (get past the anger to the hurt or fear)?
  114. Am I willing to release you from my anger and forgive you? HDMAMMF
  115. Am I holding onto any resentment, bitterness or anger toward my mother? Choose one area/incident. HDIFA this issue/area (get past the anger to the hurt or fear)?
  116. Am I willing to release my mother from my anger and forgive her? HDMAMMF
  117. Am I holding onto any resentment, bitterness or anger toward my father? Choose one area/incident. HDIFA this issue/area (get past the anger to the hurt or fear)?
  118. Am I willing to release my father from my anger and forgive him? HDMAMMF
  119. Am I holding onto any resentment, bitterness or anger toward any other person or entity? Choose one area/incident. HDIFA this issue/area (get past the anger to the hurt or fear)?
  120. Am I willing to release him/her/it from my anger and forgive him/her/it? HDMAMMF
  121. Does how I spend my time reflect the priorities and values I think I believe? HDMAMMF
  122. 1. What kind of failure disturbs me most? HDMAMMF
  123. HDIF when I do something “klutzy”? DIFALD
  124. HDIF when I need to be loved? DIFALD
  125. What are my thoughts when I hear the statement “God does not make junk”? HDMAMMF
  126. HDIF when you give me a compliment? DIFALD
  127. HDIF when I judge myself inadequate, guilty, or unlovable? DIFALD
  128. What do I try NOT to be seen as (weak, dumb, frivolous, impractical, etc)? HDMAMMF
  129. When do I repress my feelings? HDIFAT
  130. What do I do to get relief from emotional pain when I am tired, lonely, angry or hurting? HDMAMMF
  131. What nickname do my co-workers or family members have for me? HDIFAT
  132. In what ways have I been living as a married single? How have I tried to change this, and how do I feel about these changes? DIFALD
  133. HDIF when I’m the center of attention? DIFALD

Dialogue Acronym Key

DILD: Describe in loving detail.

DIFLD: Describe in full loving detail.

DMFILD: Describe my feelings in loving detail.

HDIF: How do I feel ….?

HDIFA: How do I feel about …?

HDIFAMA: How do I feel about my answer?

HDIFAT: How do I feel about this/that?

HDIFSTWY: How do I feel sharing this with you?

HDIFTYT: How do I feel telling you this?

HDMAMMF: How does my answer make me feel

WAMFA: What are my feelings about…?

WAMFAT: What are my feelings about this/that?