1. What do I look forward to by going into in this area with you in dialogue? DIFALD
  2. WAMFA my attitudes on sex? DIFALD
  3. WAMFA your attitudes on sex? (Note: these 2 questions require initial discussion to find attitudes, i.e., the belief, principle, judgment or whatever causes your feelings.)
  4. HDIFA sex in the morning? in the evening? with the lights on? DIFALD
  5. WAMFA your taking the initiative? DIFALD
  6. WAMFA taking the initiative? DIFALD
  7. WAMFA my reaction toward sex? DIFALD
  8. WAMFA your reaction toward sex? DIFALD
  9. Have I ever felt used or rejected? WAMFAT
  10. Have I ever felt inadequate sexually? WAMFAT
  11. HDIF when I know we are to have sex shortly? WAMFAT
  12. HDIF immediately after sex? DIFALD
  13. What words, touches, sounds please me most during sex? WAMFAT
  14. WAMF when I don’t want sex, but do anyway? DIFALD
  15. WAMF when you don’t want sex, but do anyway? DIFALD
  16. Is sex pretty much all or nothing? WAMFAT
  17. What feelings about sex do I have which I find most difficult to share with you? HDIFAT
  18. HDIF when you say no? DIFALD
  19. HDIF when you say yes? DIFALD
  20. HDIF when you undress in front of me? DIFALD
  21. HDIF when I undress in front of you? DIFALD
  22. HDIF when you tell me I’m sexy? DIFALD
  23. “Our sexual relationship is the expression of our total relationship!” HDTMMF
  24. HDIF when you kiss me in front of others? In front of children? DIFALD
  25. HDIF when it’s been a long time since we’ve made love? DIFALD
  26. HDIF when I feel pressured in our sexual relationship? DIFALD
  27. HDIF when I ask you to make love? DIFALD
  28. HDIF when you ask me to make love? DIFALD
  29. “In sex, I am a gift of God given to you. I am placed in your hands by God.” HDTMMF
  30. “In sex, you are a gift of God given to me. You are placed in my hands by God.” HDTMMF
  31. HDIF saying yes for the good of our relationship? DIFALD
  32. What is the quality I like best in you in our sexual relationship? HDTMMF
  33. WAMF giving up the right to say no? for a week? for a month? DIFALD
  34. HDIF when I see you totally open to me in our lovemaking? DIFALD
  35. HDIF when we make love after an argument or misunderstanding? DIFALD
  36. HDIF when our lovemaking is interrupted? DIFALD
  37. HDIF when you compliment me on sex? DIFALD
  38. Do I see our sex life as a separate part of our relationship? HDTMMF
  39. Do my attitudes interfere with our sex lives? HDTMMF
  40. Are there areas in which our sexual relationship could be improved? HDMAMMF (Don’t specify the area!)
  41. What can I offer you to better our sexual relationship? WAMFAT
  42. What inhibits me in our sexual relationship? WAMFAT
  43. HDIF when I’ve been fulfilled by you? DIFALD
  44. Why do I want to be fulfilled by you? HDMAMMF
  45. HDIF when there are moods of sadness in our sexual relationship? DIFALD
  46. Why don’t I trust you with helping me with sex? HDMAMMF
  47. HDIF knowing that you didn’t trust me in helping you with sex? DIFALD
  48. HDIF about the lack of wonderment in our sexual relationship? DIFALD
  49. What does the awkwardness feel like to me when we talk to each other in this area? HDMAMMF
  50. “All I have is yours. All you have is mine.” What feelings are stirred in me about these words?
  51. HDIF when you say my name during our lovemaking? DIFALD
  52. How does the busy-ness of our lives affect our sexual relationship? HDMAMMF
  53. Do I have the trust to allow me to expose my innermost sexuality to you? HDMAMMF
  54. In what specific area of my own sexuality have I been reluctant to open up with you? How does revealing this area make me feel?
  55. HDIF when you lovingly accept a part of me that I had difficulty sharing? DIFALD
  56. On a scale of 1 to 10, how do I rate our sexual relationship? HDMAMMF
  57. Do I feel needed by you sexually? HDMAMMF
  58. What part of my body do I judge to be sexually exciting to you? HDMAMMF
  59. What part of your body is sexually exciting to me? How does sharing my answer with you MMF?
  60. Do we have sexual relations often enough? HDMAMMF
  61. Is it difficult to tell you during our lovemaking what enhances or reduces my pleasure? HDMAMMF
  62. What specifically do you do to/with me during sex that I enjoy most? HDMAMMF
  63. What is my attitude about oral sex? HDMAMMF
  64. What specific experience have we had recently that was most beneficial to our sexual relationship? HDMAMMF
  65. Do I fantasize during our lovemaking? (YES OR NO) HDMAMMF
  66. Describe in precise detail your most sensual fantasy. How does sharing this with you MMF?
  67. Describe the specific instance in which I am most turned on sexually? HDIFAT
  68. What specific sex act that we have never experienced would I want us to experience? How does sharing my desire with you MMF?
  69. Is there any form of sex with you that I find repulsive or highly undesirable? If so, what form? HDMAMMF
  70. Do I fear pregnancy? HDMAMMF
  71. Have we ever performed sex acts that have left me worried? If so, how does sharing this worry with you now MMF?
  72. Where would I like to make love with you other than in bed? HDMAMMF
  73. What specifically do you do to/with me physically that turns me off sexually? How does sharing my answer MMF?
  74. After sharing this series of dialogues on our sexual relationship, how do I feel about our sexual relationship?
  75. HDIFA laughing during lovemaking? DIFALD
  76. HDIFA talking during lovemaking? DIFALD
  77. Do I believe the things we did to compensate for no sex in our courtship aren’t necessary now? HDIFAMA
  78. Do I worry about the kids seeing/hearing us? HDIFAT
  79. Do I have the attitude, “Don’t start something you can’t finish,” and how does that affect our sexual relationship? HDMAMMF
  80. What sexual baggage am I dealing with? HDMAMMF
  81. Is sex good or bad? HDMAMMF
  82. Do I ever use sex as a reward for good behavior? HDMAMMF
  83. Do I believe that making love after an argument or misunderstanding is an easy way out? HDMAMMF
  84. Does it matter if we’re meeting the national average? HDIFAT
  85. Do the kids put a damper on my spontaneity? HDIFAT
  86. Do I ever worry that if I go all out this time, you will expect this all the time? DIFALD
  87. HDIF when the kids knock on the door when we are making love? DIFALD
  88. What makes me feel degraded? HDMAMMF
  89. HDIF when I have fantasies? DIFALD
  90. HDIFA negligees? DIFALD
  91. HDIFA sharing fantasies with you? DIFALD
  92. HDIF when you compliment me in a way that affirms my femininity / masculinity? DIFALD

Dialogue Acronym Key

DILD: Describe in loving detail.

DIFLD: Describe in full loving detail.

DMFILD: Describe my feelings in loving detail.

HDIF: How do I feel ….?

HDIFA: How do I feel about …?

HDIFAMA: How do I feel about my answer?

HDIFAT: How do I feel about this/that?

HDIFSTWY: How do I feel sharing this with you?

HDIFTYT: How do I feel telling you this?

HDMAMMF: How does my answer make me feel

WAMFA: What are my feelings about…?

WAMFAT: What are my feelings about this/that?