Verbal Dialogue Questions To Ask

These questions are to help make your dialogue deeper and richer. You won’t use more than a couple of them during any given dialogue.

1.   Tell me more.

2.   Is it like. . .and then describe how you think he wants you to feel. How you imagine it is to feel the way your spouse is feeling.

3.   How does your feeling make you feel physically?

4.   What helps you to describe it more fully?

5.   What other feelings are there?

6.   How does it feel to feel the way you feel?

7.   Have I ever described a feeling like yours to you? Tell me about how you remember that feeling of mine. How does it compare with your present feeling?

8.   Have you ever felt this way before? How does it compare with those other times?

9.   What have I said or done in past dialogues that helped you get out your feelings more?

10. What intensifies your feeling—lessens it?

11. How do you feel about revealing this feeling? Is there a difference in your reaction in the reflection and the dialogue?

12. Let the spouse know where you are in reaching out to his/her feeling.

13. Tell what helps you to respond better, to comprehend more.

14. Tell whether you are prejudiced toward him/her at this moment and what helps you to become more prejudiced.

15. Tell whether you have any real desire to feel his/her feeling now and what helps you to want your spouse’s feeling.

16. Spouse should tell you how he/she feels about your questions or your responses.