Dialogue Questions About. . .Us As a Couple

Key for Acronyms
DIFALD = Describe in full and loving detail
HDIF = How do I feel. . .?
HDIFA = How do I feel about. . .?
HDIFAT = How do I feel about that?
HDIFSTWY = How do I feel sharing this with you?
HDMAMMF = How does my answer make me feel?
HDTMMF = How does that make me feel?
MMF = . . .make me feel?
WAMFA = What are my feelings about. . .?
WAMFAT = What are my feelings about that?

Besides the old stand-by of “What was my strongest feeling today?”, try making one of these your NEW “old stand-by”!

1. What is my awareness of us as a couple right now? HDIFAMA
2. What is it like being married to me today? HDIFAMA
3. What is the most difficult situation facing us as a couple right now? HDIFA this situation?
4. What stage of relationship do I see us in right now – romance, disillusionment, or joy? HDIFAT
5. What did I most look forward to today? HDIFSTWY
6. What is my biggest challenge right now? HDIFSTWY
7. HDIFA our sexual relationship?
8. HDIFA our couple prayer?
9. What do I most need from you today (tomorrow, right now)? HDIFSTWY
10. What do I think you most need from me today (tomorrow, right now)? HDIFSTWY
11. What brought me the most fulfillment today? HDIFAMA
12. What is my dream for tomorrow? HDIFSTWY
13. What feeling have I not shared with you yet today? DIFALD
14. How have I encouraged or affirmed you today? How did that feel?
15. When did I feel closest to you today? HDIFAMA
16. How did I know you love me today? HDIFSTWY
17. Please forgive me for . . . .  HDMAMMF
18. What was the center of my life today?  HDIFAMA
19. What is the most vulnerable thing I could share with you today? HDIFSTWY
20. What do I most need to take responsibility for today? HDIFSTWY
21. What attitude am I struggling most with today? HDIFSTWY
22. How was your love life-giving to me today? HDIFAT
23. In what areas do I feel vulnerable to you? HDMAMMF
24. Where do I feel the need to be reconciled with you? HDMAMMF
25. Where do I feel the need to be reconciled with myself? HDMAMMF
26. What about you am I grateful for today? HDMAMMF?
27. What do I recall most about our wedding day? DIFALD
28. WAMFA the line “can’t buy me love”?
29. What goodness do I see in you today? HDIFTYT
30. HDIFA waking up beside you? DIFALD
31. What is my most vivid memory of our honeymoon? HDIFTYT
32. What will we be doing when we are 80? HDMAMMF
33. You’re my hero. Describe in full and loving detail. HDMAMMF
34. What do I most owe you, my beloved? HDMAMMF
35. What grudges do I hold regarding you? HDMAMMF
36. What makes it hardest for you to live with me? HDMAMMF
37. Where do I trust others more than I trust you? HDMAMMF
38. What would you most like me to change? HDMAMMF
39. Where do I tip-toe around you? HDMAMMF
40. When are we most likely to fight and what about? (Is this ever going to change?) HDMAMMF
41. What tricks do I use to get my way? HDMAMMF
42. Who controls the mood in the house? HDMAMMF
43. Who controls the conversation in our house? HDMAMMF
44. Who controls the bed in our house? HDMAMMF
45. Where do I most take you for granted? HDMAMMF
46. Have I been life-giving to you today? HDIFAMA
47. HDIFA change I see in you? DIFALD
48. What has been the greatest change in our relationship since our Marriage Encounter Weekend for me? HDIFAMA
49. What has been the greatest change in our relationship since our wedding day? HDIFAMA
50. HDIFA “Bloom where you’re planted”? DIFALD
51. Am I choosing the direction of my life, or is my life directing me? HDMAMMF
52. When is the last time you forgave me? HDIFAT
53. When is the last time I forgave you? HDIFAT
54. Does love mean you never have to say you’re sorry? HDIFAT
55. HDIF when you ask my forgiveness? HDMAMMF
56. HDIF when I ask your forgiveness? HDMAMMF
57. When was a time you touched my life? WAMFAT
58. When was a time when our love as a couple touched someone else’s life? WAMFAT
59. HDIFA how we live out our faith? HDMAMMF
60. How am I life-giving to you? HDIFAT
61. How does my negative or positive self-image affect me being life-giving? HDMAMMF
62. HDIFA our hospitality? HDMAMMF

63. What do I value most about our lifestyle? HDMAMMF

64. What do I value least about our lifestyle? HDMAMMF

65. Our lifestyle is a reflection of our values. HDIFA our lifestyle? DIFALD

66. HDIF knowing that God has entrusted us with something special of Himself? DIFALD

67. God trusts us to reveal the unique facet of Him that we possess. HDTMMF

68. What makes us special? HDTMMF

69. Who are the people who lift me up? HDMAMMF

70. Where do we go to be lifted up? HDMAMMF

71. How do we feel when the church lifts us up? DIFALD

72. How do we affect the marriages of others around us?

73. HDIFA our lifestyle?

74. HDIFA taking on a ministry as a couple?

75. HDIFA the upkeep of our home?

76. HDIFA splitting of daily chores?

77. HDIF when we dialogue frequently?

78. HDIF when we don’t dialogue frequently?

79. HDIFA how we play together?

80. HDIF when I hear “Love isn’t love till you give it away”?

81. Knowing the choice is ours to continue what the weekend started, how do I feel?

82. HDIFA being part of a sharing group? DIFALD
83. What is the biggest change our family/friends have seen in us since our weekend? HDIFAMA
84. There really IS a New World somewhere! HDIFAT
85. Love is a gift I freely give to you. HDIFAT
86. What does “being open” mean to me?

87. What quality in you do I admire most? HDMAMMF
88. How do you most help me? HDMAMMF
89. When have I felt the most loved? (this week, this year, ever) DIFALD
90. What does “trust” mean to me? 14. I think our greatest strength as a couple is . . . . HDIFAT
91. I think our greatest weakness as a couple is . . . . HDIFAT
92. What is one thing you do that makes me feel loved? Describe how I feel when that happens.
93. HDIFA continuing to use dialogue? DIFALD
94. HDIFA growing old with you? DIFALD
95. HDIFA the atmosphere in our home?
96. Dialogue can be a daily date. HDIFAT
97. Is there anything I am doing by myself that I could involve you in? HDIFA involving you?
98. Is there anything you are doing by yourself that I would like to be involved in? HDIFAT
99. We are a sign – what do people see when they see our love? HDMAMMF
100. HDIF when you criticize me? DIFALD
101. HDIFA “dating” you? DIFALD
102. Do I expect security from our marriage? HDMAMMF
103. Do I expect companionship from our marriage? HDMAMMF
104. Do I expect tenderness and understanding in our marriage? HDMAMMF
105. Do I expect encouragement from you? HDMAMMF
106. Do I expect intellectual closeness from our marriage? HDMAMMF
107. HDIFA our vacations? DIFALD
108. What quality of yours do I most admire? HDMAMMF

109. HDIF when you withdraw into your shell? DIFALD

110. How do I want you to see me, and is it the same as I want others to see me? HDIFAT

111. What quality in you am I most dependent on? HDIFAT

112. What are my feelings about how I accept you? DIFALD

113. What are my feelings about how you accept me? DIFALD

114. What do I see in other marriages that I want for us? HDMAMMF

115. Are we involved with other couples who share our marriage values? HDMAMMF

116. Is our light under a bushel basket or on a lamp post? HDMAMMF

117. HDIF when I hear you say something complimentary about me? DIFALD

118. HDIF when you don’t say anything about something I’ve done? DIFALD

119. HDIF when we’re too busy for each other? DIFALD

120. HDIF when I hear you say something derogatory about me? DIFALD

121. In what areas of our relationship am I still private because I don’t trust you to understand? HDMAMMF

122. HDIF when you show that you appreciate me? DIFALD

123. HDIF when you make a sacrifice for me? DIFALD

124. HDIF when you smile at me? DIFALD

125. HDIF when I make a mistake and you point it out? DIFALD

126. HDIF when you interrupt me? DIFALD

127. HDIF when you ask me to help you? DIFALD

128. HDIF when you make me laugh? DIFALD

129. HDIF when I think that you are judging me? DIFALD

130. HDIF when you are too hard on yourself? DIFALD

131. Do I think separate nights out is good for our relationship? HDMAMMF

132. Do I expect us to be involved in mutual activities? HDMAMMF

133. What guideline for fighting do I find most difficult to practice? HDIFAT

134. HDIF when I have judged you unfairly? DIFALD

135. In what area of our relationship am I experiencing loneliness? HDMAMMF

136. How do I fail to listen to you when I am disillusioned? HDMAMMF

137. HDIF when you compliment me? DIFALD

138. HDIF when you do something extra special for me? DIFALD

139. How does my personality style prevent me from listening to you with my heart? HDMAMMF

140. How does the image I project affect our dialogue? HDIFAT

141. How does the image I project affect our relationship? HDIFAT

142. What has our dialogue done for my self-image? HDIFAT

143. What was the most significant part of our ME weekend? HDIFAT

144. How did I feel Friday night of our weekend, and how did I feel Sunday night? DIFALD

145. What are the positive signs of growth I see in us? HDMAMMF

146. In what areas do I not listen to you? HDMAMMF

147. HDIF when we are swamped with responsibility? DIFALD

148. HDIFA going on a monthly/weekly date? DIFALD

149. HDIFA our children’s privacy? 105. HDIFA our privacy? 108. 110. HDIFA our children’s education? 111. HDIFA having children in daycare? 112. HDIF when I say no? 113. HDIF when I say yes?