Dialogue Questions About. . .Self

Key for Acronyms
DIFALD = Describe in full and loving detail
HDIF = How do I feel. . .?
HDIFA = How do I feel about. . .?
HDIFAT = How do I feel about that?
HDMAMMF = How does my answer make me feel?
HDTMMF = How does that make me feel?
MMF = . . .make me feel?
WAMFA = What are my feelings about. . .?
WAMFAT = What are my feelings about that?

TYPICAL JUDGMENTS I MAKE ABOUT MYSELF
Which of these judgments have you ever made about yourself?
• I judge myself unworthy and put myself down.
• I judge myself to be uneducated and stupid.
• I judge myself to be a closed person.
• I judge myself to be shy and humble.
• I judge myself to be hypercritical and picky.
• I judge myself to be always right.
• I judge myself to be a rock without feelings.
• I judge myself to be unpopular and a loner.
• I judge myself to be wishy-washy and unable to stand up for what I believe.
• I judge myself to be selfish and self-centered.

Questions
1. From the list above, pick one and write a 10/10 answering the question, “How do I react when I judge myself to be. . .? HDMAMMF
2. HDIF when I recognize and accept a good quality in myself? DIFALD
3. HDIF when you point out a good quality you see in me? DIFALD
4. Describe a time when my behavior helped me recognize a good quality in myself. HDMAMMF
5. What good quality of mine do I have trouble accepting? HDIF sharing this with you? DIFALD
6. What attitudes do I have that prevent me from accepting compliments on my personal qualities? HDMAMMF
7. HDIF when I am able to accept a compliment about a personal quality? DIFALD
8. What am I generous about? HDMAMMF
9. What am I selfish about? HDMAMMF
10. When do I find it easy to be a loving person? HDMAMMF
11. When do I find it difficult to be a loving person? HDMAMMF
12. When my decision to love seems heavy, where do I seek encouragement? HDIFAT
13. HDIF when I have acted lovingly? DIFALD
14. HDIF when I have acted selfishly? DIFALD
15. What kinds of people are difficult for me to love? HDMAMMF
16. What characteristic of Christ’s is hardest for me to emulate? HDMAMMF
17. HDIFA your experiencing Christ’s love through me? DIFALD
18. What actions/things/behaviors are life-giving to me? HDMAMMF
19. HDIFA change? DIFALD
20. What was the greatest change for me on our Marriage Encounter weekend? HDIFAMA
21. HDIFA “Bloom where you’re planted”? DIFALD
22. HDIF when I see a new baby? DIFALD
23. Am I open to new life? DIFALD
24. Am I choosing the direction of my life, or is my life directing me? HDMAMMF
25. Where do I spend most of my energy each day? HDMAMMF
26. How does my negative or positive self-image affect me being life-giving? HDMAMMF
27. The time I feel most alive is. . . . DIFALD
28. What did I most look forward to today? HDMAMMF
29. What is my biggest challenge right now? HDMAMMF
30. What brought me the most fulfillment today? HDMAMMF
31. What is my dream for tomorrow? HDMAMMF
32. What was the center of my life today? HDMAMMF
33. What do I most need to take responsibility for today? HDMAMMF
34. What attitude am I struggling most with today? HDMAMMF
35. Did I feel special growing up as a child? How do I feel now, looking back at my childhood? DIFALD
36. HDIF knowing that God has entrusted me with something special of Himself? DIFALD
37. God trusts me to reveal the unique facet of Him that I possess. HDTMMF
38. What makes me special? HDTMMF
39. Do I have a poor self-worth? HDMAMMF
40. Who are the people who lift me up? HDMAMMF
41. Where do I go to be lifted up? HDMAMMF
42. How do I feel when the church lifts me up? DIFALD
43. Do I have “my chair” or “my spot” in church? HDIF when someone else sits there? HDMAMMF
44. Do I feel comfortable hugging you and our children? HDMAMMF
45. Do I believe it is important to be on time? HDMAMMF
46. Do I think life is fair? HDMAMMF
47. Do I believe we should have at least one family meal a day? HDMAMMF
48. Do I like to drop in on people? HDIFAT
49. Do I like for people to drop in on us? HDIF when it happens?
50. Do I believe we should share household tasks? HDMAMMF
51. Do I believe it is important to take a yearly family vacation? HDMAMMF
52. Do I think it is important to go to church every week? HDMAMMF
53. Do I enjoy being pampered? HDIF when I am?
54. What do I find relaxing? HDIFAMA
55. HDIFA surprises? DIFALD
56. Is orderliness important to me? HDMAMMF
57. HDIFA a chaotic environment? DIFALD
58. Is it more important for me to be liked or to be right? HDMAMMF
59. HDIF when no one notices something I put a lot of work into? DIFALD
60. HDIF when I make a mistake? DIFALD
61. Am I a pessimist or an optimist? HDMAMMF
62. HDIF when I’m criticized or made fun of in public? DIFALD
63. HDIF when there is a last minute change of plans? DIFALD
64. HDIFA security and stability? DIFALD
65. HDIFA a challenge? DIFALD
66. HDIF when someone lies to me? DIFALD
67. Do I want to fit in or stand out? HDMAMMF
68. HDIF when I have to work alone? DIFALD
69. HDIFA unresolved issues? DIFALD
70. HDIFA being accountable to someone else? DIFALD
71. HDIF when someone asks me to share? DIFALD
72. How important is physical affection to me? HDMAMMF
73. HDIFA confrontation? DIFALD
74. HDIFA sacrifice? DIFALD
75. HDIFA traditions? DIFALD
76. HDIF when I’m given a task without guidance or clear expectations? DIFALD
77. HDIF when people disagree with me? DIFALD
78. HDIFA learning new things? DIFALD
79. HDIF when I have a deadline? DIFALD
80. HDIF when my decisions are questioned?
81. Do I make lists? HDMAMMF
82. HDIF when I’m late? DIFALD
83. Do I tend to see things in black and white, or do I see shades of gray? HDMAMMF
84. Do I prefer to be alone/with 2 or 3 close friends, in a small group, or at a huge gathering? HDMAMMF
85. HDIFA parades? DIFALD
86. Where do I have an attitude of inferiority? HDMAMMF
87. HDIF when people change the rules? DIFALD
88. How do I act so that others will accept me? HDMAMMF
89. What do I do in a group of strangers to be accepted? HDMAMMF
90. Looking back over my day, what act or achievement makes me feel best about myself? HDMAMMF
91. What kind of compliment makes me feel good? DIFALD
92. How do I want others to see me? HDMAMMF
93. What are my best qualities? HDMAMMF
94. What do I do to gain acceptance and profit emotionally? HDMAMMF
95. What roles do I play? HDMAMMF
96. How do I react to compliments? HDMAMMF
97. What kind of criticism distresses me? HDMAMMF
98. What is my greatest compulsion? HDMAMMF
99. HDIF when I withdraw into my shell? DIFALD
100. Do I feel in control of my time? HDMAMMF
101. HDIF in a competition? DIFALD
102. HDIFA trying new things? DIFALD
103. HDIFA being praised or recognized in public? DIFALD
104. HDIFA doing routine tasks? DIFALD
105. HDIF when I have to depend on others? DIFALD
106. HDIFA uncertainty? DIFALD
107. HDIFA finishing things? DIFALD
108. What did my parents praise me most for? HDIF recalling this?
109. What were my parents most critical of me about in my childhood? HDIF recalling this?
110. HDIFA apologizing? DIFALD
111. Do I believe in work before play? How does that impact our relationship? HDMAMMF
112. How do I get re-energized? Is it the same way you do? HDMAMMF
113. Am I holding onto any resentment, bitterness or anger toward you? Choose one area/incident. HDIFA this issue/area (get past the anger to the hurt or fear)?
114. Am I willing to release you from my anger and forgive you? HDMAMMF
115. Am I holding onto any resentment, bitterness or anger toward my mother? Choose one area/incident. HDIFA this issue/area (get past the anger to the hurt or fear)?
116. Am I willing to release my mother from my anger and forgive her? HDMAMMF
117. Am I holding onto any resentment, bitterness or anger toward my father? Choose one area/incident. HDIFA this issue/area (get past the anger to the hurt or fear)?
118. Am I willing to release my father from my anger and forgive him? HDMAMMF
119. Am I holding onto any resentment, bitterness or anger toward any other person or entity? Choose one area/incident. HDIFA this issue/area (get past the anger to the hurt or fear)?
120. Am I willing to release him/her/it from my anger and forgive him/her/it? HDMAMMF
121. Does how I spend my time reflect the priorities and values I think I believe? HDMAMMF
122. 1. What kind of failure disturbs me most? HDMAMMF
123. HDIF when I do something “klutzy”? DIFALD
124. HDIF when I need to be loved? DIFALD
125. What are my thoughts when I hear the statement “God does not make junk”? HDMAMMF
126. HDIF when you give me a compliment? DIFALD
127. HDIF when I judge myself inadequate, guilty, or unlovable? DIFALD
128. What do I try NOT to be seen as (weak, dumb, frivolous, impractical, etc)? HDMAMMF
129. When do I repress my feelings? HDIFAT
130. What do I do to get relief from emotional pain when I am tired, lonely, angry or hurting? HDMAMMF
131. What nickname do my co-workers or family members have for me? HDIFAT
132. In what ways have I been living as a married single? How have I tried to change this, and how do I feel about these changes? DIFALD
133. HDIF when I’m the center of attention? DIFALD