Dialogue Questions About. . .Conflict

1. Do our fights at least end the “cold war” between us? HDMAMMF
2. How can we avoid unproductive fights? HDMAMMF
3. What are the bad things about our fights? HDMAMMF
4. Am I able to see your side in our fights? HDIFAT
5. Do I pride myself in not starting fights with you? HDMAMMF
6. Do I sometimes provoke fights even if I do not start them? HDMAMMF
7. What are the good things about our fights? HDMAMMF
8. What starts our fights? HDIFAT
9. What type of fights do we have? HDIFAT
10. Could we have avoided this fight? How would I feel if we had? DIFALD
11. Did I let our fight ruin my whole day? HDIFAT
12. How long was this fight in coming? HDIFAT
13. What led up to our fight? HDIF today about those things? DIFALD
14. What was the fight really about? HDIFAT
15. When are we most likely to fight? HDIFAT
16. When we fight, do we really know what we are fighting about? HDMAMMF
17. When we fight, is one of us always the loser? HDIFAT
18. Do we always fight about the same things? HDIFAT
19. HDIF about the times when I deliberately hurt you during a fight? DIFALD
20. HDIF when I see a couple fight? DIFALD
21. I fight with you because. . . . HDMAMMF
22. HDIFA the worst fight we ever had. . . . DIFALD
23. What do I dislike most about myself when I fight with you? HDMAMMF
24. What is my favorite weapon when I do not fight fair with you?
25. When you bring third parties into a fight, HDIFAT? DIFALD
26. What do I admire about your fighting spirit? HDMAMMF
27. What pitfalls keep our fighting from being constructive? DIFALD
28. When we fight, do we really know what we are fighting about? HDMAMMF
29. Do I pride myself in hardly ever fighting with you? HDMAMMF
30. HDI avoid fighting? HDMAMMF
31. HDIFA fighting as a constructive means of communication between us? DIFALD
32. HDIFA fighting fair? DIFALD
33. Have I felt let down at any point after a fight? DIFALD
34. Am I nurturing a bad mood? HDIF when I am in a mood like this? DIFALD
35. Am I still bearing a grudge? HDIF carrying a grudge? DIFALD
36. Am I still feeling hurt? DIFALD
37. Am I still making excuses for my actions? HDIFAT
38. Am I still pretending not to care? HDIFAT
39. Am I surprised by the way I reacted? HDIF about my behavior?
40. Am I surprised by your reactions? HDIF about your behavior?
41. Am I taking your pain seriously enough? HDIFAT
42. At what point do our arguments get out of control? HDIFAT
43. At what specific point did I get drawn in? HDIFAT
44. Could we have avoided this fight? How would I feel if we had?
45. Did I feel let down at any point during our fight? DIFALD
46. Did I issue an ultimatum? HDIF about the ultimatum now?
47. Did I let the fight ruin my whole day? HDIFAT
48. Did I misrepresent or stretch the truth? HDIFAT
49. Did I pout or cry just so you would feel sorry for me? HDMAMMF
50. Did I say things just for effect? HDIFAT
51. Did I use exaggerations or absolutes? HDIFAT
52. Did one of us act childish? HDIFAT
53. Did one of us attribute sinister motives to the other? HDIFAT
54. Did one of us bully the other? HDIFAT
55. Did one of us insist on being right? HDIFAT
56. Did one of us try to make the other feel guilty? Did it work? HDMAMMF
57. Do our “rules” allow us to take a break to cool down? HDIFAT
58. Do we argue because we remember things differently? HDMAMMF
59. HDIF now about things I wish I had done or said differently? DIFALD
60. HDIF when we argue in front of our_children? DIFALD
61. HDIF when we argue? DIFALD
62. How can I change to make confrontation more positive for us? HDMAMMF
63. How can we avoid unproductive fights? HDMAMMF
64. How frequently do we argue? HDIFAT
65. How long was our most recent fight in coming? HDIFAT
66. How many times have we had this discussion? HDIFAT
67. Is there any pattern to our arguing? HDIFAT
68. On the surface, am I logical or emotional? HDMAMMF
69. Was there an easier way to resolve our differences than fighting? HDIFAT
70. What are the bad things about our fights? HDMAMMF
71. What caused my/your/our voices to be raised? HDIFAT
72. What could I have done to reduce my own suffering? HDIFAT
73. What could I have done to reduce your suffering? HDIFAT
74. What did I compromise to make peace? HDIFAT
75. What did I do to provoke you? HDIFAT
76. What did I do to shut you off? HDIFAT
77. What do I think was your main point? HDIFAT
78. What do I think you are going through right_now? HDIFAT
79. What have I learned about the way I handle conflict? HDMAMMF
80. What have I learned about the way you handle conflict? HDMAMMF
81. What irrational behavior can I admit to now? HDIFAT
82. What issues still persist? HDIF about these unresolved issues?
83. What led up to the fight? HDIF today about those things?
84. What pitfalls keep our fighting from being constructive? HDMAMMF
85. What specifically triggered my reaction? HDIFAT
86. What subjects cause us the most trouble? HDIFAT
87. What tender spots were touched and when? HDIFAT
88. What was I feeling when I was silent? DIFALD
89. What was my main point? HDIFAT
90. What was the fight really about? HDIFAT
91. What would I like to take back? Why did I say it? HDIFAT
92. When are we most likely to fight? HDIFAT
93. When did I feel most exasperated? DIFALD
94. When did I feel most like ducking out? DIFALD
95. When did I feel most trapped? DIFALD
96. When did I refuse to listen or ignore what was said? HDIFAT
97. When we fight, do we really know what we are fighting about? HDMAMMF
98. When we fight, is one of us always the loser? HDIFAT
99. Where did I fail to be completely fair to you? HDIFAT
100. Where was I unreasonable? HDIFAT
101. Who blamed who and when? HDMAMMF
102. HDIF giving/receiving blame? DIFALD
103. Who brings up painful subjects the most often? HDIFAT
104. Who got hurt? When? Why? HDIFAT
105. How do we make up after a fight? HDIFAT